Agender Pronouns: Understanding, Respecting, and Using Them Correctly

In a world where gender diversity is increasingly recognized, pronouns play a vital role in how we communicate respect and affirmation. Among the many gender identities that exist, agender people — those who identify as having no gender — often face confusion or misrepresentation regarding how others refer to them. That’s where understanding agender pronouns becomes essential.

This comprehensive guide explains what agender pronouns are, how they’re used, why they matter, and how to be an ally to the agender community. By the end, you’ll have a clear understanding of language, identity, and inclusion in everyday life.

What Does Agender Mean?

The term agender literally means “without gender.” Agender people may describe themselves as having no gender identity at all, being gender-neutral, or existing outside the concept of gender entirely. “Agender individuals identify as having no gender or see themselves as gender-neutral. Their sense of self is not tied to the idea of being male or female.”

Agender identities exist under the broader nonbinary umbrella, which includes all gender identities outside the traditional male/female binary. However, being agender is distinct because it represents the absence of gender — not a mix or shift between genders.

Understanding this difference is key when learning how to use and respect agender pronouns.

Understanding Pronouns and Gender

Pronouns are the words we use to refer to someone without repeating their name. In English, common examples are he/him, she/her, and they/them. These small words carry significant weight — they reflect identity, belonging, and respect.

For many transgender, nonbinary, and agender people, being addressed with the right pronouns is a form of recognition and validation. Misusing or refusing to use correct pronouns can cause distress or alienation.

What Are Agender Pronouns?

Agender pronouns refer to the pronouns that agender people use to describe themselves. There is no single set of pronouns that defines all agender individuals — just as no single identity defines everyone in the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

Because agender people identify as having no gender, they often choose pronouns that feel neutral or ungendered. Commonly, this includes they/them pronouns, but some prefer neo-pronouns (newly created, gender-neutral forms), or even no pronouns at all.

The goal is always the same: to reflect identity accurately and respectfully.

Common Agender Pronouns

Here are some of the most common agender pronouns and how they are used:

Each of these pronoun sets serves the same purpose — to allow people to express themselves authentically and comfortably. There’s no “right” or “wrong” choice, only what fits the individual.

How to Use Agender Pronouns in Sentences

Using agender pronouns correctly takes practice, especially if you’re new to gender-neutral or neo-pronouns. Here are some examples of how to apply them in daily conversation:

They/Them Examples

• “Jordan said they would be here by 3 p.m.”
• “That’s their backpack.”
• “They’re working on their art project today.”

Xe/Xem Examples

• “Xe loves reading science fiction.”
• “That book belongs to xem.”
• “Xe said xe will send xyr notes later.”

Ze/Hir Examples

• “Ze is a great teacher.”
• “That coffee is hir favorite.”
• “Ze told me to give the file to hir.”

If you’re unsure how to pronounce or use someone’s pronouns, politely ask them. Most people appreciate the effort to get it right.

Why Agender Pronouns Matter

Using correct agender pronouns is more than a matter of grammar — it’s a matter of respect, identity, and human dignity.

1. They Affirm Identity

When you use someone’s chosen pronouns, you affirm who they are. For agender people, who often feel invisible in binary gender systems, this simple act can mean a lot.

2. They Promote Inclusion

Inclusive language helps build spaces where everyone feels seen. Workplaces, schools, and communities that adopt gender-neutral practices tend to have stronger cultures of acceptance and empathy.

3. They Reduce Harm

Misgendering — using the wrong pronouns — can be emotionally painful and isolating. Research from The Trevor Project shows that transgender and nonbinary youth who have their pronouns respected experience significantly lower rates of depression and suicidal ideation.

Tips for Respectful Pronoun Use

• Ask, don’t assume. If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, simply ask: “What pronouns do you use?”
• Share your own pronouns. Introduce yourself with your pronouns to normalize the practice. Example: “Hi, I’m Sam, I use he/him.”
• Apologize and correct yourself if you make a mistake — then move on respectfully.
• Include pronouns in signatures or bios (e.g., email signatures, Zoom names, social profiles) to create inclusive communication environments.

Supporting Agender People in Everyday Life

Supporting agender individuals goes beyond language — it’s about fostering understanding and respect in all areas of interaction.

1. Educate Yourself and Others

Learn about gender diversity, agender identity, and inclusive language. Share what you learn with friends, family, and coworkers to build awareness.

2. Advocate for Representation

Encourage organizations, media outlets, and schools to include agender perspectives and stories. Representation matters — it helps normalize and validate experiences that are often overlooked.

3. Create Inclusive Spaces

From gender-neutral bathrooms to inclusive forms and policies, small changes can make a big difference. Make sure forms don’t require binary gender choices, and use “they/them” by default if pronouns are unknown.

4. Listen to Agender Voices

Nothing replaces lived experience. Follow agender creators, activists, and educators who share their stories and insights. Listening builds empathy and reduces bias.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q1: Are agender people nonbinary?
Yes, most agender people are considered nonbinary because they exist outside the male/female binary. However, not all nonbinary people are agender — some may feel a mix of genders or fluidity instead of gender absence.

Q2: Do all agender people use they/them pronouns?
No. While many do, others use xe/xem, ze/hir, or no pronouns at all. The best practice is always to ask and use the pronouns each person prefers.

Q3: Is it grammatically correct to use they/them for one person?
Yes. The singular “they” has been part of English for centuries and is accepted by major style guides like the APA and Merriam-Webster.

Q4: How can workplaces support agender employees?
Employers can use gender-neutral policies, add pronouns to email signatures, and ensure HR systems recognize identities beyond “male” and “female.” Training sessions and diversity initiatives can help build inclusion.

Q5: What’s the difference between agender and gender-neutral?
“Agender” refers to identity — not having a gender. “Gender-neutral” refers to behavior, expression, or language that doesn’t emphasize gender. A person can be both, but they’re not identical concepts.

Language evolves to reflect the world around us, and understanding agender pronouns is part of that growth. By learning and respecting how agender people wish to be referred to, we affirm their identity and contribute to a more inclusive society.

Pronouns may seem like small words, but they hold tremendous power — the power to include, to respect, and to validate. Using correct pronouns is not just polite; it’s a way of saying, “I see you for who you are.”

Whether you’re learning for yourself, supporting a loved one, or promoting inclusivity at work, remember: respect starts with listening and speaking thoughtfully. Every effort to understand and use agender pronouns correctly helps make the world a kinder, more authentic place for everyone.