Sonja's Story

[Received Sept 2002]

A 35 year-old PAIS woman wrote this account:

Since my teenage years I had thought that my vagina was too short after having tried to insert a tampon. A disastrous and painful attempt to have intercourse with a boyfriend in those days "confirmed" my fears that I don't have a proper vagina.

I started to investigate surgical methods to correct this problem, but was totally put off by what little I could find out. After discovering the AISSG website many years later, in my 30s, I learned about the possibility of pressure dilation for the first time. I decided to give it a try. Having had to go into hospital for a gonadectomy I thought there would be some experts on hand as this hospital was offering vaginal surgery on cancer patients. But instead of getting proper information or being encouraged to try dilation, I was told that my vagina was too short and surgery (Vecchietti method) would be the only solution. None of the (male) doctors was willing to prescribe me dilators. They told me they are useless. Finally, one female hospital doctor told me to forget about what her male colleagues had told me. She encouraged me to try dilators and referred me to a colleague for the prescription. He wouldn’t give me the prescription.

I found a (female) gynaecologist at home and was told that my vagina is not that short at all... that surgery is absolutely not necessary. She finally prescribed me the dilators and oestrogen cream, but unfortunately without a proper description of how to use them. I started to use them "somehow" for about 2 weeks and finally gave up on them.

I then started a new relationship. When the relationship got closer I feared that “IT” would result in another disaster like in my teenage years. Indeed, it didn't work. We decided to use a lubricant. Wonder, oh wonder, the “problem” was solved within about 3 days. I spoke about it with my gynaecologist. She told me, to my total surprise, that my vagina is actually about 9 - 10 cm which is quite a good length. But she thought it would still be good to dilate because of the missing upper third of my vagina (no cervix/uterus).

I was puzzled. Why on earth did the doctors at the hospital tell me that my vagina is too short? Why did they suggest I undergo surgery? Why did they refuse to prescribe me dilators? Why did none of them mention lubricants? Why didn’t a single doctor tell me that my vaginal length is absolutely normal for a woman without a cervix/uterus?! Why didn't my gynaecologist explain to me at the outset that “not too short” actually meant “9 - 10 cm”!

The Vecchietti method is certainly not major surgery compared to the McIndoe and other methods.^{Ref 1} No doubt about that. But it is surgery involving anaesthetic, and scars (even if they are little scars). This surgery would have been totally unnecessary in my case.

[Ref 1: The Vecchietti is really a surgically-assisted dilation method. The only surgery is the first part, to insert the tension wires. After that the patient wakes up from anaesthetic (and at this point no vaginal lengthening has yet taken place) and it is only now that the treatment (creation of the vagina) takes place, by tightening the tension wires so that the dilation 'olive' is pulled up into the body, just like with a 'push' dilator... but by pulling. An important point is that it doesn't involve cutting a vaginal channel and there is no foreign tissue (skin or piece of bowel/intestine) transplanted, just the stretching of the natural vaginal skin (as with pressure dilation by hand).]

It makes me wonder how many AIS women think they have a vaginal problem when there isn't one? Or how many have unnecessary surgery? My self-diagnosis of my "vaginal length problem" had obviously been wrong. But it is still amazing to me that I had to reach my 30s to find out that my vagina is not too short... to find that my sex life hadn't been a disaster because of my vaginal length, but because of choosing two lousy lovers.... that "the problem" almost immediately disappeared with the help of a lubricant, and a patient and experienced lover.