Paul's Story

[Received Aug 2011]

Hi, I only found out about AIS today, and I'm totally stunned. Firstly I'm not stunned in a bad way but a supportive one, secondly I just wish I'd known years ago. If only (and I totally understand you ladies' self consciousness and privacy) [I'd] been aware of AIS [before] a broken relationship with my then girlfriend, who had all the classic characteristics (6', all legs, no body hair, femme fatale etc.) and the lack of childbearing abilities/periods (which I knew deeply upset her). She kept a 'secret' I knew and regularly held it back. She was very intelligent and always managed to deflect my suspicions that something unusual was between us.

Alas I never knew...I tried to get closer but looking back now I think the admission was too much...or perhaps she just didn't think I was man enough to take it perhaps? (Being ignorant of such things, before the internet, is perhaps understandable but now there is no reason). She just went back to the catwalk/modelling and left me behind. If I'd known it wouldn't have mattered! I like to think of myself as an average bloke and the thought of a wonderful woman's chromosomes being slightly unusual would in no way worry me one bit, hell who's to say I'm 'normal' whatever that strange concept is?

I think if AIS could be brought more into the open it would be better for everyone. From now on I feel enlightened and supportive. I bet this is story is happening everyday which is tragic, I lost far more when [______] left, I was proud of everything she was.

Best wishes, Paul

He later explained how he came to find out about AIS:

What got me looking is rather trivial, it's today's online article in the Daily Mail about Wallace [Wallis] Simpson (I don't normally read the Daily Mail I have to say!). I suppose sub-consciously something about the article, and Wallace's persona, just clicked with something in my mind. It was then that similarities of my past relationship began to stir, nothing specific, just empathy.

I found your site after Googling many articles (many far too technical for me) and reading what I found. And yes like any man I began to wonder how I would react if I met an AIS woman (I'm not sure I like referring to a woman as an acronym.) That’s when the penny dropped, at last some sense to a confused and unhappy relationship. Would I have minded if I’d known... no! Well, I hear you say, it’s easy to say that now, but would it? I can assure you it wouldn’t... I just wish (if indeed it was the case, I can’t be certain can I?) she’d have shared it with me.

He later emailed with further thoughts:

Since I wrote to you I have given this so much thought, I must have gone over every memory I can remember, anything that may have been a clue [as to whether she had AIS]. This was 1985 we were only in our early twenties. Was it really so long ago? Her name was [______] although she had no family I ever met, wasn't local and lived alone (so can I be certain?). Well, the thing that I am left with is the same; AIS or not (though it just fits I'm so sure) is: would it have altered my feelings for her? I can honestly say, absolutely not.

I've learned something about AIS and about myself from this and I thank-you for that. Perhaps there was some other reason, I've yet to discover? Obviously I have much to learn. Perhaps I'll never know (I haven't seen her since 1989) but if my tiny contribution has helped anyone in anyway I'm glad.

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