Nicky's Story

I have just read other stories, and feel fortunate indeed, although this has not always been the case. I am a 55 year old AIS woman who resides in Vancouver, B.C. Canada. My aunt been born AIS in 1908. She was told later in life that she would never be able to have children. I don't think she ever knew about AIS per se, although there was some understanding about the heredity factors, because I remember my father and stepmother being concerned about me when I didn't have periods.

When I was 16, I was examined by the same gynocologist who had been seeing my aunt. He told me that I had been born without a uterus or ovaries and that I would never be able to have children. I was very upset at not being able to have children, and this was a sadness for a large part of my life.

When I was 19, my family doctor told me that my vagina was shorter than normal. He wanted to talk to MY FIANCE, if I were going to get married about what to do.

When I was 23, I went to a new family doctor who told me about the vaginal reconstructive surgery which might be available. He referred me to Dr. Bryans from the University of B.C. medical faculity who was practicing out of Vancouver General Hospital. He told me about AIS. He also arranged for exploratory surgery to remove the testes. The decision to have these removed was based on the 20% possiblity of developing cancer. It seemed odd to remove them when the odds for developing cancer were only 20%, however the knowledge that by the time the cancer were discovered it would probably be fatal assisted me in making the decision.

I had a vaginal reconstruction using a skin graft from my thigh. Unfortunately, I didn't know about the need for dilation to keep it open. The vagina has shrunk, which is actually not a problem for me now.

At about age 40, I stopped taking estrogens. This was something that just happened. My family doctor at the time thought this wasn't a bad idea, because my mother had died of breast cancer. There were, however, concerns about osteoperosis. I had a bone scan, and discovered that the bone density in my pelvis was 75% of normal for my age. The surgeon who assessed me for the risk of breast cancer said that, with hormones, my risk might go from 3 in 100 to 6 in 100. I therefore decided to go back on the hormones.

I feel that I am writing an autobiography rather than an E mail here. I can remember the embarassment of not having pubic hair. The worst time was when the PE teacher wanted all of us to get into the group showers. I got out of it, by being late out of PE and going to the private shower.

Throughout my life I never managed a lasting relationship with a man. Looking back on it, I wonder if I wasn't seeking this out as a proof that I was normal.

When I was 49, a friend who had put an ad in the paper to meet a man told me that her ad was underneath one from a transexual who had just completed the surgery required to make her a woman. She was 48 and seeking a platonic friend. Given the similarities around the surgery, I was intrigued to meet her, so I answered the ad.

Leslie told me at the outset that she was a lesbian. I told her I was definitely straight (shows how well I knew myself). Suffice it to say that Leslie's and my friendship grew into love, and that we celebrated 4 years of living together last month.

I have no idea whether AIS has had any influence on my orientation. I somehow doubt it. I think that, if the figure of 10% of the population being gay or lesbian is accurate, then probably 10% of the AIS population would be attacted to same sex partners.

I am really grateful for the web page, and hope that my story may be of interest to others with AIS.