Jasmine's Story

[Received July 2009]

Hi there,

Trying to live a normal life...

First, of all, I just want you to know that I am an avid follower of your site. Just call me Jasmine and I am 27 year old Filipina and it makes me happy to know that there's some people who can understand what I've been going through.

I was born in a rural area in Philippines. Growing up, I don't really have much problem or worries since I have not noticed anything weird with me. I knew that I was quite small and lanky but so are some of my classmates. When I was 15 years old, most of my classmates we're having their periods and I have none but my family assured me that it's okay since most of my aunts in my father side had their menstruation so late, one of whom even had it when she was over 18. Nonetheless my family still sent me to the ob-gyne. When I was there, I was checked physically and the doctor told me that I need an ultrasound. We weren't able to do the ultrasound because we were so poor that time. But the doctor prescribed me an iron multivitamins and I thought it was going to be okay.

When I was in college, I moved to the city and my mom constantly asked me if I got my period already and so to stop her from worrying, I told her that I had already. I was so ashamed of this that I have to buy a sanitary pads if in case my roommates would be asking for one and even told them that I have irregular menstruation thats why I rarely use my pads. No one suspected of it and for years I kept it.

During those years, I had a growth spurt so fast, my friends was very surprised since I have cup C-D breast and though I had some pimples, it would be like once a year and only one or two would appear which would be gone for few days. I have long legs and long arms and many men pursued me because of my very feminine figure and appearance. I have very sparse pubic hair and no underam hair at all though it runs in our family.

I had a younger sister who is not affected and quite happy that my older brother already gave a grandson to my parents and that they are not pressuring me to have one. I had also relationships and because I am not aware of sexual difficulties before since I don't know how to use computer that time, I didn't have any worries and though it was painful which they said is normal for first timers, I have no difficulty after that and I have a very strong libido actually. But as I was growing older and my career is soaring, I started to look for answers. The thought of not having a baby and the sad truth that I have to give up wonderful relationships when the guy talked about the future like having a baby and raising a family. Some even joked that they want me to be pregnant before marrying to ensure that I could have their baby. It was terrifying and sad and I become depressed that I started having attractions with older man or divorcee with kids knowing that they would not mind of me not having a baby.

I am in China and a breadwinner in the family. My youngest sister was diagnosed with Hauser [MRKH, see 'Related Conditions' page on site] and I was very empathetic of her. I always give her assurance that it would be okay. Unlike me, she is very small for her age of 21, she's just 36 kgs and quite plump boobs for her built. The doctor suggested surgery and I am saving some money for her but seeing the effects of the surgery on some patients, I am having second thoughts of it.

I planned to see an OB-Gyne who could understand my situation when I am in Philippines and planned to tell my family the truth. I am living also in a shared apartment with girl roommates so I am always very careful and secretive because I know that some things are better left unsaid. But as of now, I can't really categorize on what is my exact condition. But this website's enlightened me and strengthened my confidence. Thanks!

P.S. I don't know how to post this so I just sent it here [to UK group's email address] directly.